Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Feeling Better

A friend of mine who lost both parents to cancer within very close proximity of one another said something interesting the other day.

She mentioned that for years she would lapse in and out of grief-depression for two weeks before any anniversary (meaning any “first”) and it would last for two weeks after each anniversary. That cycle is so familiar to me.

July 4th was a big anniversary day for me and today, roughly two and a half weeks later, I am beginning to feel better again. Lighter.

I’m feeling better about barbeque-guy today. I invited him out this Friday night to see a friend of mine sing.

I do need to talk with him and just let him know how sad I have been feeling and how dating is affecting me grief-wise. It’s only fair. I want him to know. I need him to know. He already understands. I could go on forever trying to find reasons why we should not be together or I can face my fear, guilt and anxiety and give it a go. Honesty is called for and I plan to deliver.

Boy, it feels nice to feel better.

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