Saturday, April 12, 2008

My Wish

Wow. A month has gone by since my last post.

I’m running 6.5 miles these days, and doing another show. School is in full swing and I am within 9 classes of my degree in Psychology.

My life is good. I’m lonely, but my life is good. I have been dating, and dating still makes me sad because it reminds me of my Chris and all that happened.

I do wonder if I will ever be free of my sadness -- sadness that comes and goes, but sadness that comes, nonetheless.

Dating is hard. The age of online dating has brought with it a breed of people who decide, in advance, every minute detail they want in place before they will even consider each other as partners. What difference does it make whether a person has brown hair or is no taller than 5’3” and no heavier than 130 pounds? What ever happened to personality and charm? In the age of online dating, they’re less important than physicality.

What I would like most in the world is to meet a kind, patient man who will empathize with what I have been through and treat me with patience and understanding, and love me, despite how sad I can get at times. I mean, everybody gets sad at times, right? It’s not that bad an affliction.

I feel as though I have had the daylights scared out of me, forever. The fear that comes along with a loved one’s cancer diagnosis, battle and death are insurmountable.

I’m not going to give up. There’s another man out there for me and I know that if I keep dating, we'll find each other.

I don't want to be alone, anymore.

Tripped-up, again, but otherwise wonderful,