Out of My Mind

Tonight, I visited an assisted-living home and, along with a host of other singers and walked the hallways singing Christmas carols to the residents. People stood in their doorways smiling and singing with us. We crammed into one woman’s room (She’s 96 years old!) and sang O Holy Night to her. Her excitement was a gift.

We also sang to alzheimers patients. I was nervous, at first, but then I reminded myself that the woman who took care of my husband was me and I wasn’t scared to help Chris then, and I’m not scared to help others now. The residents loved the music and I felt as though we all spread so much happiness tonight.

Afterwards, I went to the Whole Foods Chris and I used to go to when we lived in Brighton. I used to not be able to go there. Tonight, the pain was not as great as it was in the past. I drove through the same intersection that sent me into a three-hour breakdown last week, but this week I did not cry at all. I still feel sadness in that neighborhood and I can still feel how I felt when I used to walk up the sidewalk to our apartment. I can still feel Chris waiting upstairs for me and I can still feel us making plans to have breakfast at the Brighton Cafe.

Tonight, the memories did not hurt me because I took myself outside of my own mind for a couple of hours and gave of myself to others.

I want to give to others more often.