And Just Like That...

I woke up feeling wonderful, yesterday, and the feeling stuck. Just as quickly as the ambush occurred, the enemy retreated and I am feeling happy, again.

I have decided to do a solo cabaret show for which I have begun to prepare. The decision is an indication to me that there is truth in the phrase “2 steps forward, one step back.” I have been wanting to perform my own show for a few years, since before Chris died. In fact, he used to get irritated with me for talking about the song list for years and never doing anything to turn the dream into a reality. Since his death, I have pondered the idea a few times but have not been able to commit to the task. Plus, I had been holding onto a concept which included telling the story of what happened to Chris and singing a song or two to support the idea. At this particular moment, it appears as though I may not mention Chris at all. That’s progress. I’m better at comedy that I ever was at tragedy, anyway.

I’m excited. The only time I ever feel absolute absence of all things sad is when I am singing a song, telling a melodic story, disappearing into the subtext and giving everything I have inside of me to an audience who I bring with me, along for the fantastical ride. I’m targeting September for a date. I just have to find a venue, hire some musicians and put my nose to the grindstone.

I’m going to put down my laptop and enjoy the feeling of my body, finally in as much of a relaxed state as its muscles ever get, which is still moderately aroused. Oh well. I’ll take what I can get, just as long as this respite from grief lasts.

Cheers.

Shneed