Happy Anniversary, Creej.

There’s a nor’easter brewing within me this morning, and I’m hoping I can drink my coffee, get dressed and get out of my apartment before the storm hits. I can feel my suppression-engine thrusting into overdirve. Not staying in is, perhaps, among the six-hundred milion best plans that have ever hatched in my mind. Today can be a good day, as long as I stick to the plan. Coffee and a movie with a friend, running, weight-training, dinner with another friend. The storm will come, but if I can manage to delay the rain until bed time, at least I can just fall apart and then fall asleep.

I’m afraid of my wedding video, now. I’m afraid to see Chris in motion. I’m afraid to see how happy that bride was, how unbelievable it was to her that she had met a man she loved, who loved her and who, together with him, created a unioin as perfect as the healthiest unioin can be. I’m too afraid, now.

Still, there’s happiness all around me today. I have a choice to follow the sun or the rain. The decision is mine. I don’t want to cry just yet. I don’t want to cry, at all.

Happy 5th wedding anniversary, Creej.

I love you.

Shneed