Eleven Years.

I dreamed about Chris last night for the first time in a very long time.

I was just getting home to my apartment. I opened the door, entered, and walked over to the telephone when I saw Chris on the couch. He rose up, approached me, placed each of his hands on my upper arms, smiled and said, “So…It’s okay for me to go now.”  He immediately grabbed his own side, his cheeks turning red from a sudden cramp. My tears flowed instantly, warm on my face, and I felt the crushing, defeating sadness I felt in life after we all knew his doctors were discontinuing his chemo treatments. I said, “How?” and he said, “Iodine.”  

Then I woke up. 

I have to admit, I’m a bit teary today because of my dream, but I love dreaming about him because it’s like seeing him, again, even if it is eleven years later and I have been happily remarried for the past five years. 

Here’s to Chris. You are within me always and forever. And I will love you for the duration.