Today I took a trip from work to the airport to deliver some documents to one of my bosses. The Silver Line bus # 1 transported me in roughly twenty-five minutes from my office to Logan Airport. The entire trip, a very enjoyable and much needed work hiatus lasted an hour and a half total.
While riding the bus, in somewhat of a stress-induced trance, my mind took off on a journey of its own and I fantasized about Chris.
The bus was careening through the tunnel toward South Boston, where it stops before making a U-turn at the World Trade Center and then heading to the airport. The other passengers and I were busy reading, talking and looking out the windows at the gray inner walls of the tunnel when all of a sudden, water began seeping through cracks in the walls. We began to panic and some of the passengers began screaming. Large pieces of the wall began to give way to a rush of more water and before any of us knew it, the walls completely burst, thrusting water into the tunnel, forcing the bus to crash against the opposite wall. We were all trapped as the bus began to fill with the rapidly rising water. I swam to the top of the bus where I managed to find a cutout in the shape of the bus wall which served as an air pocket for me to breathe until the water took over, drowning all of us. I remained there, treading water, horror growing inside of me as I braced myself, preparing mentally for my impending death, slowly resigning myself to the fact that there was nothing more I could do. I was going to die here, in the bus, in the tunnel on the way to the airport.
Suddenly, Chris was there facing me, exuding an angelic, spirit-like presence. My heart leapt and I immediately began to cry, calling his name. “Chris! I’m so glad you’re here! I love you so much!”
Taking my face in his hands, Chris guided my face toward his until we were both looking into each others’ eyes, his just as deep, brown and soulful as they were in life. “Not yet, Shneed. It’s not your time.” he said
“I want to come with you.” I argued. “I miss you. Please take me with you.”
“No Shneed. Not yet.”
Placing his hands on my forehead, Creej continued, “No more guilt, Shneed.” and then in a softer, broader whisper, “No more guilt.” Then he was gone.
I’m not sure why I was able to reach the state of relaxation that I did, which allowed me to daydream with such color. It was a lovely trip into my own head, though, and helped me work through some of the guilt.
I felt better for the rest of the day.
I wish it could have really happened.
Well, I guess I don’t wish that the whole near-drowing really happened. Just the encounter with Chris.
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You got me watery eyed where you say "I want to come with you," I miss you," and "take me with you." For some reason, I feel like I've said the exact same words to someone in a dream too. Begging and pleading, except I think I was bummed when I woke up instead.
ReplyDeleteOne thing Chris always gave me was reassurance. Always. I asked for it. I required it, in fact. I told him from the start that I would need reassurance from time to time and that i would ask for it when I needed it, that he would never be expected to guess what I wanted and needed. And I did. And he always came through.
ReplyDeleteI once heard a long time ago, and till this day believe that it could be very true, that If you dream of a loved one who has passed and they talk to you in your dream,to try and remember what they said to you. It could be a message they are trying to tell you. I like to think that it's true.
ReplyDeleteYeah. So do I. Who knows, though? I hesitate to say that this was a visitation, but so far, 2 of my friends who have read this think it was. I truly am a believer that once we leave earth, we go somewhere else. I don't believe that this is it. In fact, I believe that this is probably the bottom of the barrel. Who's to say, right? Thanks, again for writing, Jody.
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