I Dream of Creejie

Last night, I dreamed that Chris and I were moving back in together. I was so happy he agreed to live with me again.

We were trying to decide where to live. I really wanted him to live with me in the apartment I live in now and when I asked him, after some thought, he said yes. But then we ended up moving somewhere new because he felt the apartment was too small for the two of us. In reality, my apartment is quite large, which is kind of funny because Chris’ attitude in my dream pretty accurately depicted how he could sometimes panic over things that were not panic-worthy – but then, I guess we all can do that, can’t we?

We moved into a white, very blocky condo complex (not a place Chris and I would have chosen in life). I was afraid that there were going to be centipedes in the apartment. Chris told me he bought me some bug stuff to spray the apartment and when I began to argue that he didn’t know which kind I needed, he pulled out one of those spray cans with the hose connected to it, opened it up and showed me the white powdery stuff I needed in order to kill the “pedes.” I was completely filled with love for him. He knew what I needed.

Within my dream, I awoke to see a centipede on the ceiling above me. I quickly grabbed the can and saturated the little beast with poison. I remember thanking God I was able to protect myself. I loved Chris more than I can ever convey in that brief murderous moment of panic.

Throughout my dream I felt a sense of completeness, calm and contentedness – like I had no worries in the world – that I haven’t felt since the day he died and I felt that way when I awoke. I rolled over, pushed my alarm up a half-hour and enjoyed the feeling of love coursing through my veins.

I love him and I feel very safe today.