I’ll take it.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Phew. That was quite a dip back into the depths of grief. I am happy to be able to announce to myself that I feel so much better today, thank goodness.

I had just forgotten myself and in doing so, I completely stopped reminding myself of various truths. First, I am full of love. Secondly, there are no mistakes. The universe is a perfect place and everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to happen. Thirdly, I am here for a reason and when my work is done, I will be allowed to leave. Earth is merely a learning ground where we come to exist in human form for a period of time before we get to shed our constraints and live as the spirits that we truly are.

Yesterday, I switched from drinking roughly four cups of coffee a day (mugs, really) to drinking only one cup of caffeinated and the rest all decaffeinated. Toward the end of the day, my head started hurting and I didn't make the connection at first but then this morning, I was in so much pain that I couldn't even lift my head off the pillow. I brewed and poured my morning coffee took a few sips, and lo and behold...no headache.

Interestingly enough, and even though I endured an intense grief meltdown, I had very little anxiety last night...and I practically and single-handedly keep anxiety employed.

I feel better. I’m so glad I feel better, even if it’s just until the next meltdown.

I’ll take it.

Shneed